Advantages from joy of life

Typically we think that joy comes to us from the outside as an effect of  positive events in our life. And because joyful moments are so scarce, we tend to think that we have no reason to be happy. It is a mistake  – joy of life depends on joy and you can learn it!

 

We often think that to be happy we need some things: more money, better job, travel thought the world, etc. We concentrate on these dreams and making them come true – or, alternatively, on complaining… This way we become permanently unsatisfied and frustrated. Scholarly research proves that objective improvement of our life (especially with respect to material situation) do not necessarily enhance our satisfaction from life. When we have achieved what we have dreamed about, it turns out that we are not happier. We want more and more in order to keep and save the same level of happiness [1].

The human mind tends to see everything in dark colors. We often do not know why we feel unhappy or while the fulfillment of our dreams does not make our happy. We cannot cope with lack of satisfaction. Set a new goal for yourself and start a new dream in our head.

We have to realize, however, that the problem is not with the world but it is within us. We remain constantly unsatisfied instead of changing our way of thinking. Try to be happy without a particular reason , and the “outside ” joy will appear by itself!

Happy people react in a positive way and act constructively even in bad situations. Joy for every day teaches us how to better our lives – a positive attitude will appear sooner or later, bringing us joy.

 

Optimism is healthy

 

Stress, negative emotions, and lack of confidence accumulate in unhappiness and destroy our health. Psycho-immunologists, who study interconnections between  social and psychological factors and their influence on our immunity system, emphasize that even if you avoid alcohol, keep a good diet and exercise a lot, but at the same time you have an aggressive attitude towards others and a negative attitude to your surrounding – your immunity is weaker [2]. On the other hand,  optimism can do miracles to our health. Dr Eva Ritvo, vice-chairmen of Psychiatrics and Behavioral Sciences Department in University in Miami Miller School of Medicine, says that positive thinking improves psychological health and reduces stress: around optimists other people group easily. This leads to good relations, more successes, and helps reduce  emotional stress. As we all know emotional stress may lead to physical diseases [3]. Modern  medicine more and more  seems to believe in psychological health as a key to physical health.

 

The list of basic principles of psycho-immunology is as follows:

 

  • our thoughts and feelings have an influence on the functioning of organism via biochemical processes and hormones; hormonal and nervous systems are particularly closely connected with our  psychics;
  • by our opinions we can exert influence on emotions, and improve our immunity,
  • our well-being depends on how we can cope with  stress,
  • being able to relax, proper diet and physical activity can stop the progress of a disease.

 

Typically, we do not know how one can influence one’s feelings. But it is not too late to learn it. You can learn how to feel joy in your life. All you need is you have to be persistent and exercise every day [4].

 

Emotional memory

 

The way our memory is connected with emotions is responsible for our  „bad habits” which make us see a glass half empty and not a glass half full. Emotions are motivated and perform a specific functions.  The center responsible for  emotions in our brain is connected to hippocampus which is responsible for memory . When we are emotionally moved,  nor-adrenaline is exerted in our brain as a specific neuro-messenger [5]. Therefore, the brain remembers emotionally marked information much better [6]. Our brain ties  emotions and memory to help us memorize new  facts, classify them and  react to new stimuli.

This regards both positive and negative emotions. Fear is in fact an effective means enabling  a short period memorization as curiosity or joy. But as a permanent stimuli fear is harmful only: in the long run, an excess of negative emotions makes it more difficult to memorize and absorb new information. Accordingly, bad  emotions become a filter for us with which we perceive reality. We become foes for ourselves. Typically, we are consciously unable to indicate the particular elements of our memory which are responsible for our  fears or nervousness  That is why we feel irritation without an apparent reason, a sort of an inside nervousness –   natural reaction of many Poles to everyday problems.

A better way to achieve motivation is positive  associations. If you are engaged in a positive way in your activity, your motivation intensifies. And  emotional memory can be an extra stimuli for success.

 

Positive thinking: a few guidelines

 

We can shape the way we  react. Nothing is settled once and for ever:  you can become an expert of motivation in yourself. You must learn positive thinking. It is not propaganda of success or pretending joy that you are an optimist; you should learn to see good sides of your life  – they are more numerous than you think!

 

Our brain is similar to a computer: it collects and stores  data. Its programming depends  on information from the outside world, that is our previous experiences and their interpretation, as well as the way we are processing information. The more positive our information is, the more positive are the effects of our activity in the world. It is crucial to receive positive information and conformations  that your  success is likely.

 

Positive thinking means, first of all, seeing  positive aspects of events. In all circumstances, you can find something positive – even in „the school of life”. This means that you should see advantages and not disadvantages in everybody’s character; be able to see other peoples’  talents and aptitudes. This is also discovering oneself, one’s positive sides, aptitudes and interests, as well as being responsible for their exposition to the daily light.

 

Positive thinking requires, first of all, trust in positive fruit of our actions; secondly,  aptitude to mental change unpleasant events into ones that serve us well. The following guidelines can be helpful:

 

  • listen more to the words of those that are successful, and not those who suffer failures; take into consideration the fact that those that are unsuccessful  tell us about their failure more often and louder;
  • always think how many people are successful and achieve their goals;
  • do not complain and do not listen to complaints; do not poison your relations with other people with a negative attitude to reality;
  • do not use negative opinions in your descriptions [7], instead create a positive atmosphere around you;
  • do not watch movies full of violence and aggression; do not play brutal computer plays  to avoid absorption of negative emotions.

 

NLP: Re-program yourself!

 

To get rid of negative emotions we can also use selected Neuro-Linguistic Programming, NLP, created by the  mathematician Richard Bandler and linguist John Grinder [8]. They will help you change patterns of perception of people. As followers of  NLP suggest that it works immediately and you can change your attitude within seconds! Among adherents of NLP we can Mount  Anthony Robbins, the author of bestselling books on  self-improvement [9]. This is not a miracle drug for all problems and it seems that some followers of  NLP overestimate its effectiveness). Nevertheless NLP can help discard bad  negative emotions,. On the other hand, they help for a limited time only and  do not substitute sound thinking about your goals. Remember that they must be accompanied by a deeper spiritual process of self-improvement.

 

Re-framing

 

Re-framing of context means change of negative meaning to a positive perception of your situation. If something wrong happens to you, always ask yourself: Is there any context in which this situation or behavior might seem positive? What else, positive in turn, might mean? Are there any positive aspects in what apparently seems a discomfort or failure?

This will help you eliminate all negative influences on your emotions. Apply re-framing at a regular basis  – your brain will learn that you have a choice any minute [10].

 

I am expecting what is good for me

 

Focus on positive goals, not on negative approach to them. Our brain tends subconsciously to  automatic fulfillment of the images it “sees”. All you have to do is concentrate our thoughts on the image we pursue („I am lean”), and not on the image that we do not want for us („I am too fat”).

 

State of relaxation

 

When you are nervous, your body is tense. When you are happy, your body is relaxed. If you feel discomfort, sit back and take a deep breath. Your mind will follow your relaxed body [11].

 

Change of attitude

 

In the evening sit at your desk and write down the factors that are limiting you and preventing achieving your desired goals. E.g.: „I cannot communicate well with people”; „I cannot learn”; „I cannot lose weight”. Next, cross out these negative statements and juxtapose them with positive ones. Mind you, they must be formulated in a  positive way (i.e., do not say „I do not eat much”, but „I eat little”). Finally,

 

1. Think about your  attitude and what you want to change.

 

2. What  negative consequences result from your attitude? Make a list.

 

3. Define a new attitude  (contrary to the negative one). Give it a positive form, e.g.  instead of „I do not close myself to new acquiencenes” – „I am open to  new acquiescence”.

 

4. What positive consequences can your new attitude bring?

 

5. Think about a variety of positive actions  and opinions. Write down 3–4 examples.

 

7. Select one item from your list, as a evidence of your new attitude. When such a situation can happen in your life; select a concrete date and place.

 

8. Try to imagine that you are in this place in the selected time, performing this specific activity. Imagine that you are an observer can who see “you in the future” according to your new attitude.

 

9. Re-wind the scene to start. Pretend that you are in the middle of it. Pretend it is happening now . See and feel it with all your senses. Finally, express loudly and clearly your new attitude.

 

10. Repeat steps 7 to 9 three times, every time modify the kind of action, time, and space [12].

 

The past does  not exist

 

 Some people’s life is determined by bad experiences from the past. They cannot get rid of their bad memories, despite every effort to do so. The bad experience makes them recall it for many times, without an end to it. In fact, the past is only a record seated in our heads. Why worry about something that has long gone into the past? Ask yourself: Is it possible to think that the bad experience can bring something good to my life? Maybe the bad past can teach me something? [13]

 

***

 

Thus, positive thinking is an aptitude and can become a

habit. Of course, such affirmation alone or  neuro-linguistic programming techniques by themselves will not suffice – they are only a part of a complete  process of a change set at  discerning good sides of life. It all depends on you! Mind you: when your brain is busy with joy, there is no room in it for worrying about the past.

Quote for today

Consciousness and health The body without consciousness is healthy.  Healthy consciousness transfers the disease to the body. (s. 262)
Diet and health (…) do not stick to a strict diet – instead eat well. This will suffice zn – both for the healthy body and soul. (s. 244)
Care for the present time The past does not hide anything interesting. Release yourself from it and live in the present time. (s. 304)
Eliminate stress (…) elimination of stress is equal to the process of recovery. (s. 50)
Love Only someone  filled with love lives to the fullest of live. Mind you, those in love are usually healthy Or even symptoms of diseases in them vanish. Love is the main basis of health. (s. 182)
Power of the mind We are not aware of the power of our minds, of our capabilities and that it needs only little will power to use them. All you have to do is use principle of concentration of power, i.e. learn how to distinguish import ant matters from trivial ones and  do not seek  problems where they do not exist. (s. 72)
Happiness Happiness is the  state of consciousness that can occur only during the processing of complex information. Thus, you wahe to develop your spirit and your senses – in  this way we can earn more possibilities to feel happiness. (s. 39)
Rationality in work Work is well done when you do not feel exhausted with it after its completion (s. 117)
Your body weight depends on your mind The mind is a key to solving the problem of obesity (or anorexia). (...) You will not be able to control your diet, overeating  (or anorexia), unless you are able to control the state of your mind. (s. 294)
Desires of the mind The mind always desires something it cannot achieve. The more we possess, the more we feel deprived. (s. 287)

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Unimaginable: The Power and Paradoxes of Our Minds deals with the unusual power of the mind. The fundamental motive of this book is trust in power and capabilities of the human mind in combating diseases, stress and worries.

Książka Niewyobrażalne. Potęga i paradoksy naszych umysłów